


Steve Rogers Regrets

by ZOYAH



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bad Friends, Break Up, Broken relationships/friendships, Cheating, Guilty Steve Rogers, M/M, Misguided ideas, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Relationship, One-Sided Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Past Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Past Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, People misjudge Tony Stark, Regret, Steve leaves Tony for Bucky, Thought about suicide, Tony Stark Feels, wrongful accusations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-25
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2019-07-17 09:17:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16092644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZOYAH/pseuds/ZOYAH
Summary: Imagine being in a relationship with someone, everything is going good but you are holding yourself back because of meaningless accusations people have told you. Then add into the equation your first love showing up, and boommm!! like that you leave your current love and never even thought about it...then you regret once everything comes back crashing down on you and you find yourself alone...Thats how Steve Rogers feel...Regrets..alot of it....Rated T just coz of Steve thinking about suicide but never does it





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Some read one of my work and let me just say that person made me smile. They expressed wanting a fic where Steve Regrets. I spend time thinking about it. I hope you will like it. Let me know how I did or if you would like to see something..anything!!! Happy reading. I welcome criticism!!!
> 
> ###### 

There is no reason to treat others as dirt. No reason to use them and never put them into consideration. Steve Rogers learned that the hard way. If he could spin back time, he would totally take that offer and do things differently. The amazing and self-righteous Captain learned that mistreatment of people isn’t only being physical. He was absolutely mean and neglectful. Now, he does regret not doing what his conscious and heart told him it was right. Now, he feels as if he is not here anymore. He feels broken, alone, in pain, and lost. Truly, he is broken and has come so close to ending it all, so he won’t feel the judging eyes and voices, or the pitiful looks. The only reasons he has given into the urges, is because he feels he should be punished. That and the idea that his friends and team would dearly miss him.

Unfortunately, he found out soon enough who his real friends were. It sent a shocking revelation through him and hurt deeper, but who was to blame here? There is a common saying that those who are true friends will stand and walk with you no matter what. They are there when things are good and when things are bad. Well, Steve yet again discovered how true that was. And this is how his regret intensify. 

Another day, another mission, another debrief, and another day at the avengers tower. What Steve didn’t know was the day was about to take a twist.

He got up that morning, making sure not to wake up his companion snoring soundly beside him. He did his morning routine; going for a morning run, taking a shower after that, heading down to the kitchen to make breakfast. And looking at the agenda for the day. Thinking that by sticking to what he does every day, he won’t have his mind wondering to how and where everything went wrong.

Flashing back to months earlier and were it all went wrong and broke. Right in the exact place. In the same kitchen. It all began there.

“Good morning sweetheart of mine!” Tony greeted as he came into the kitchen. As usual, the rest of the team are still sleeping. 

“Good morning Tony! But please can you keep it down. We talked about this.” He greeted but with a scornful tone to his voice.

“Sorry honey-cakes, I mean Captain. It just that well, it’s only two of us and since I can’t do it in the public thought it would be okay. Since, again it’s just us.” Tony explained as if that would make any difference. Not the first time he was warned though and won’t be the last.

“Tony come on, sit down and finish your breakfast. We are going to be late for Pepper’s party.” What he wanted to say was hurry up, before the rest of the team comes downstairs and find only two of us eating together.

“It’s still early Steve and what is the rush anyways?”

“Tony, come on, we are supposed to be there to help with the guests remember.”

“Okay, but I expect to be paid fully after mister punctual.”

“Yes, whatever you say. But only if you hurry.”

“Yes, captain sir.”

On the way to Pepper’s they talked about the usual stuff. About work, like how each individual mission went. The company, and all sort of topics. 

They arrived at their destination, Tony got excited upon seeing Pepper. Steve pulled the car into the parking space, which happened to be overcrowded and there were some guests standing idly outside as well. Once both were outside of the car and walking side by side, Tony started learning toward him wanting to give him a kiss on the cheek, but he stopped him before he could.

“Tony! What are you doing? Can’t you see all these people standing close by?!” 

“I just wanted to give you a kiss. Just on the cheek. Nothing wrong with that.”

“I know but what will they think? They would for sure have something to laugh about. Just let’s go please.”

He said as he stepped around and almost stepped further away from Tony. He definitely saw the hurt in Tony’s face when he denied the affection, but it would give people the wrong idea. Oh, how he wanted to be open in public and with his friends, but the media, the internet, the people and everything they said and say about Tony Stark. He has an image to uphold if the whole thing does blow up. He is Captain America and if it all goes south, what would people think of him? They would for sure laugh at him for being taken in by a playboy’s charm. Still, he has feelings for Tony and he is willing to be with him. Right?

“Okay, okay. My bad. Sorry, again I wasn’t thinking.”

The walked off as if nothing happened. As he watched Tony walked silently beside him, he regretted not allowing the kiss, but maybe when they are alone, he can give him a reward. Tony always liked the little rewards he gets. He will give him a kiss when they get home and will say sorry and apologize.

The rest of the day went by slow and slow, or it felt like that. Finally, the party ended, and it was time for them to head back. Steve was excited to get home. He hasn’t forgotten that he wanted to give Tony a reward. As the come upstairs after parking the car, he could see Nick Fury sitting at the dining area. He explained why he was there. James “Bucky” Barnes was alive and recently handed himself over to S.H.I.E.L.D.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our boy reflecting and finally figuring out that sometimes it is better to not listen to others but follow your own ideas.
> 
> ###### 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was gonna diide this into two but meh sorry if its too long and dragggggeedddd on...  
> I really had hard time with this, I thought I had it all figured out but I had to keep stopping myself from letting Steve having happy ending. I am proud to say I had fun writing it and I hope you would too reading it..Again, criticism is allowed..
> 
> ###### 

He was gone for weeks. Though he was at the headquarters, he didn’t call at all or send a message. By the time he came back and asked to meet with Tony, Tony knew something was wrong. 

“Hey Steve, where is your friend? Why isn’t he here with you?”

“Sit down Tony. We have to talk. And I left him at home.”

“At home?”

“Yes, at home. Fury helped us get an apartment. To make sure Bucky adapt in less crowded place.”

“Oh…why couldn’t you bring him here? I mean enough space, a lot of security and a lot of people around.”

“Tony, this is about Bucky and what’s best for him. And right now, what he needs is me and space away from anything and everything too much. You mean well but I don’t want him to be overwhelmed.”

Finally, it seemed like he got through to him. In his head anyways.

“I get it, I really do. But how…I mean you want to talk? Does you staying away for weeks has something to do with it?”

“Tony, I think we should go our separate ways. You are a great guy, but I know what I want now.”

“You mean you know who you want now. I have known all along. Tony Stark, as if the great Captain America would ever last with him.”

“Come on, Tony.”

“What are you doing here then? You said what you had to say.”

Tony told him slowly. Watching closely for any indication that it could only be a dream. He was ready to turn around and leave when his arm was grabbed.

“I do care about you, I really do, but you will be okay. You are you, this meant nothing and will mean nothing soon.”

“No! You are lying! You don’t care. And this is me? I thought after all this time you would come to see me for me. Not what the media say or anyone else.”

“What do you mean anyone else? Our friends aren’t anyone else. Of course, they warned me, but I still went ahead. Doesn’t that count for anything. Now I just want to be happy. Can’t you let me have that?”

“I can’t believe this. You know what? Fine, go ahead. Be happy. You are free. Enjoy your long waited happily ever after.”

Now back to the present.

He wishes he should have given more thoughts and consideration into his relationship with Tony. He should have allowed those kisses, touches and affections. He should have given him hugs in the mornings and every other time. He took for granted what they had just because of rumors and meaningless views of people. He thought he was doing the right thing, and everyone would tell him he did good. Oh, how wrong he was.

How he wish he could go back in time and do things the right way. He knew he wasn’t doing good in his relationship by how Bucky would stare at him when he thought Steve wasn’t looking. How could he focus when he feels like he has lost everything? How could he move on when he feels like he made a really terrible mistake? He had an amazing going for him, but he didn’t appreciate it. Why did he feel so embarrassed back then? Now here he is, wanting another way out but can’t. He should have told Tony how much he loved him. He loves Bucky, but he loves Tony too. Took them separating to realize that. Too late though. 

Days went by and nothing changed. He spends most of his days silently grieving over the lost chance and over the guilt of letting his relationship with Bucky suffer. None of his so called friends came over to see how he was doing or even seem to be bothered or worried about him. The only person that bothered was Thor the few times he stopped by. It turns out the entire team aka his friends knew what had occurred. 

Thor had asked him if the rumor was true. No, it wasn’t a rumor. As he explained to him, Thor became disappointed. Blaming him how he could have been so blind and closed minded. He failed to his beloved many masks and let past feelings misguide him. And the views of others. Why weren’t they calling?

So, he picked up the phone and called them. Few of them didn’t answer and the one or two that did weren’t that friendly toward him. They blamed him for not doing his own thinking. They blamed him for being horrible, yet they were the one who told him all the things he based his decision on. It went on for days, him calling and them yelling or hanging up. Bucky was starting to distant himself even. 

He could still not believe it how much he thought about it. These people were fake. He had thought they were friends. If they were true real friends they would have been there still, but no they were far away. Not only did he lose one love, he is on the verge of losing another one, yet they weren’t there still. He felt like crying again.

What done is done. Atleast that what he told himself. He will have to live with his choices. And hope that he doesn't make the same mistake again.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you had fun!!! Let me know how it went!!


End file.
